โWhen I sit down to write a book, I do not say to myself, โI am going to produce a work of art.โ I write it because there is some lie that I want to expose, some fact to which I want to draw attention, and my initial concern is to get a hearing.โ
~ George Orwell
I'm off from work for a little bit and I'll be making some plans soon for how I want both my official sites to operate. Now that I have a budget in place and since I'm not hiring any artists this time around, it'll be somewhat cheaper. I won't be setting up any subscription plans and no kind of payment whatsoever. I'm not selling any products or digital copies of my works. I don't trust Paypal and I certainly don't like Stripe either.
I'm typing on my reMarkable right now, trying to focus on what goals I have in mind for the next couple of weeks, whether itโs movie reviews or TV shows, etc. I'm glad that I was able to get my domain back again and hopefully if God willing, things turn out all right. Starting more draft writing in the following days to come and maybe Iโll post more chapters on my sites and on Substack. I had a huge spike in visitors last month in May and I was quite surprised. About 12 visits which is highly unusual, but it's better than no visits at all.
Now that I'm free again, I can finally try to get some work done. I still have much editing to do for NR (Vol. 3), but I've been so busy with other important tasks and helping out with family that I haven't been able to go back to it. Still halfway there though.
Should I start posting drafts on Substack? I don't think that would go all that well. Besides, I think I'll just do chapter previews and try to do more on the sites I'm actually paying for. But I'll try it once and see over time if I can post rough copies that are not fully polished... I guess, time will only tell.
That's my motivation and real incentive to start writing on a daily basis. I'm paying money to keep my sites up and running again. If nothing's on the site, whoโs fault is it? Why am I paying for something if Iโm not using it? I donโt really have much of a choice at this point.
It took me one full day to do that short video for my secondary site, but it was fun and I miss making videos like that. Wish I had more time to do those kinds of things, but not a lot of people follow me so I don't overdo it... since it feels as though I'm kind of wasting my time and all my energy doing hobbies that I love. I gotta be careful not to burn myself out again to the point of exhaustion. Donโt get me wrong, I love my hobbies with a passion but they donโt pay the bills.
On Rumble, I didn't even know that my videos were even hidden and that I had two channels already. Ugh! Such a confusing site, but luckily I was able to make all my videos public on one channel. No wonder why I had no darn views. Silly me! >:P I'm such a dummy when it comes to learning how to manage these kinds of things.
Maybe more people would watch my videos if I could post on a daily basis, but that's so not happening any time soon. It's been a month since the last video I posted on Youtube and Rumble... it takes so much effort and time when it comes down to anything, even if itโs a two-minute clip.
Tomorrow, I'll be rewriting all day and focusing on getting as much as I can done. If I've been posting notes, it's to keep my site active. I hate having weeks or months go by without a single peep from me... unless I'm really sick or on my death bed then that would be a different story. But for now, I should be posting something. I see other people writing articles and doing their thing without ever missing a beat.
I sometimes wonder how my life would be if there hadn't been any Covid Lockdowns. In the beginning, it seemed as though things weren't heading in the right direction for me. It was a hard lesson, but a good one in the long run. Bad things happen for a reason. I can't explain it in any other way and I'm not saying it was pleasant at all... but maybe it was an eye-opening experience to go through all of that and realize that you're kind of better off now than before, just a little.
I think completely cutting ties with toxic people also helped me in more ways than one. Feeling that I'm not chained down by other people's expectations of me, and I can finally live my own life in peace, without having to worry about someone else's thoughts and feelings. Someone I knew even told me I shouldnโt be writing and it made me disgusted to think he was ever a friend of mine.
I told him in his face, โDonโt ever tell me what I can or cannot write about!โ
I canโt stand people like that. They donโt have no goals, dreams, or motivation for themselves, so they stomp on other individuals, who are happier than they are or more successful, and try to break them into pieces. Iโve known several people who told me to quit writing for no reason whatsoever.
โItโs pointless,โ they say. โDonโt write such silly things.โ
In the end, I probably needed to take care of myself most of all. I had to heal from the hurt and pain of those who betrayed me. It was difficult and I wouldn't want to go through that again. However, I see the world in a much different light now and maybe I gained some wisdom after that.
I don't think I'm making much sense, since Iโm kind of tired from working on both sites today. So, I'm going to head off for now and finish writing some chapters instead.
Donโt forget to visit my main website The Nightmare Never Ends and Donโt Sleep Journal.
